Found my Inspiration

Okay so apparently I have found some inspiration.  Being pregnant seems to be quite the motivator.  At least so far, we'll have to see when I get into the throes of morning sickness and aching back.  But as far as wanting to actually get my exercises done, it's right up there.


I've just finished my first week back on the 30 day challenge.  AND I've been doing pretty good this week with the GI diet.  We had a bit of a decadent lunch today, but I'm quite surprised that I haven't been cheating left, right, and center.  Could it have something to do with the prayer.  I happen to think so.  I knew I needed to lay all the cards out for my DH, I couldn't just hold this inside and not talk about it (and besides, he reads my blogs, I'm pretty sure he knew already).  So we had a good talk about it last week (shortly before the pee test, actually) and I asked him to pray over me, and pray over me often.  I totally noticed a difference the next day.  I haven't been panicking, I've been able to turn down food, I haven't always won the battle, but it really hasn't been all that...battle-y lately.

We'll see if it makes a difference.   Sunday we found out I was pregnant, Monday started the 30 day challenge again.  Started it with a weigh-in.  Ugh.  I wanted to not be so heavy the next time I was pregnant and it turns out I'm starting this one with 10 more lbs.  So, 191.8 last Monday, we'll see what it is tomorrow.  On the one hand, my jeans are fitting more like they used to.  On the other hand, I'm totally bloated and burping and being nauseous (but not actually throwing up, so no help there).  I'll let you know.


*I know you're not supposed to 'go on a diet' when you're pregnant.  They say that because you need to keep up a certain caloric intake for you and the baby to remain healthy.  Let me just say that for me, the necessary caloric intake for me and baby (which is not mathematically eating for two, btw) would be less than my previous daily intake.  And even more importantly, it was the type of food I was eating that was bad, empty calories.  So the way I figure it, I could eat quite healthily for me and Baby B, with all the daily calories needed and either lose a few pounds in the first trimester and then start putting on, or just not gain weight at all (you know, until the very end when the water retention makes my ankles look like tree trunks).  At least that's what I tell myself.  Stick around.  Feel free to take bets on when exactly Reality sneaks up behind me with a 2x4.

Words may not be fattening but I wish they were more filling. (cause I'm eating a whole lot of them)

Okay, so I just looked at the links at the top of my page, you know, the idea, diet, and workout.  What a load of bollocks!  Apparently, anyway.  I know that I meant them at the time and then I just kind of threw them all out the window.

The Strange Idea:  I must have misplaced that A-type personality.   Maybe I just left it in the closet, I don't know.  So much for needing to keep up with things once I put them out there.  I think it's more a case of I started something that might just actually help me succeed so I promptly ran from it full force.  I'm good at that.

The Menu:  Ya, I totally have to go on a diet.  Maybe not slimfast and pills, but I can't just eat whatever I want in lesser amounts.  For one thing, I don't know how to eat lesser amounts.  And for another, I have insulin resistance, I need to start taking care of my body before I blow out my pituitary and develop stage II diabetes.  So, GI diet way of eating, here I come.

Workout:  Okay, so I haven't actually done a set of 100 since I showed my husband how to do it when the question came up lo those many weeks ago.  And I haven't done a Wii workout in almost as long.  I've ridden my bike.  Twice.  I have yet to pick up my aqua pass at our nearby pool.

So.  Do I follow previous patterns and just keep putting off until I convince myself that it's never going to happen and I delete all reference to this blog and pretend it never happened?  Tempting and yet loathsome all at the same time.  Do I dive in with renewed vigor and tackle all these issues with aplomb? Not particularly likely given my track record.  What I can say, is that I'm trying.  I would say with everything in me, and I kind of think that may be true, but it seems rather pathetic that if this is everything, it's not that impressive.

*God alert*

Okay, I believe in a (I was actually about to say 'higher power', let's just call God, 'God' shall we?), I believe in God.  I believe that we need Him.  Otherwise, what's the point, right?  More specifically, I believe that I need Him.  I need His grace and love and mercy and patience and help to get through this.  I have discovered recently that when I think about food, I have to eat.  Trying to not eat, sends me into a bit of a panic.  Like panic attack, can't breathe, sweating, room's suddenly to small, panic.  I'm not quite sure where this came from.  I'm a little freaked over it.  So if you pray, I would really appreciate some of those prayers as I try and work this through.  And if you don't, I would still appreciate all manner of good thoughts and huggles.  I have never felt this way about myself, it's like I'm looking at someone else's body and I find it really disgusting.  It's like I can't run/ignore/hide anymore from the fact that I really don't like hate myself.  I know this sounds awful and I'm not going for sympathy, I think I'm just hoping that if I get it out there, I can find a way to work through it.  And honestly I don't cry or weep or moan when I realize this, it's just kind of there, kind of, 'huh, well that explains a lot'. 

I don't know if any of this makes any sense, but I sure hope I can get some kind of clarity  because it has to change or...I don't know...I feel like I'll just fade into nothing.

I don't know how to say all right.  Ugh.  I guess only time will tell, right?

Where's the Wagon?!?!

Because I seriously have to get back on it.  I refuse to go clothes shopping unless it's because the clothes are too big.  You know, as opposed to me.  This is getting ridiculous.  I've been paying attention lately.  It's been an effort.  Everything went out of the window for a bit.  Then in desperation I went and stocked up on slimfast and weight suppressant pills.  That lasted all of a week 4 days.  Then I realized I had picked up a book on the low GI diet thing when I was at the library last.  Then I remembered that I had actually bought a GI cookbook back when we lived in St. Albert and had followed that for a while.  The low GI thing is something I should be following anyway.  Not as a diet, but as a way of life.  I have PCOS and diabetes is a very real concern when you already have insulin-resistance. 

Did you know that caffeine actually triggers an insulin release?  I totally didn't.  That sucks.  My only consolation is that tea seems to be okay and actually has minimal caffeine.

Okay sorry for the aside, I'm a little rambly today.  It's been a rough couple of weeks month around here.  But I really want, no need to get back on track.  I appreciate all of you who are ready to share this with me.  Sorry the start was rocky, let's try this again.

So I have a question to pose:

Have you ever done a colon cleanse? or know someone who has?  What kind and was it worth it?  Have you heard of any success or horror stories?

Not going so well

There have been a few derailments as of late.  I'll probably post more about those on my other blog.  I've got a couple things I hope to pursue here, but I just have to get my ass in gear stop feeling sorry for myself wrap my head around it.

Hopefully I'll be back with you soon.

Day.....what now? Crap!

Okay. so. note to self.  Do not start a 30 Day Challenge just before family arrives.  And it's not just having family, it's that people staying here means that Asher is in Mommy and Daddy's room and no one gets any sleep.  It also means that family want to run around the island all day and go see castles and stuff.  And I mean, of course, who wouldn't?  Just because we've been here for 8 months and haven't done any of that stuff.  So there's the not sleeping, the running around all day, oh ya, and the fact that it's a little daunting to think of doing your wii sports active running in place with all your bits bouncing up and down with your Dad there sitting on the couch watching you, because really, where else does he have to sit.  Ya.  So we're going to start this whole thing over tomorrow. 

See you then!

Day 2 of the 30 Day Challenge

Okay, so I just finished my second workout of this 30 Day Challenge.  Fortunately I've done all of these exercises before so I don't have to spend any time with how-to segments.  I'm doing the medium intensity this time round and really prefer it.  It's more reps mostly, but it takes longer so you don't feel like you cheated somehow and you have higher calorie burns.  Today I actually burned more than the target which was nice. 

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm doing the Wii Sports Active workouts in my home.  But don't worry, the whole post doesn't rely on you having the same.  These exercises can be done just about anywhere, from your own home to the gym. 

Favourite exercise today:  Side lunges with toe touches.  Really anything that works my core to me is absolutely essential. 

Exercise I hated today (but did anyway because I'm stupid competitive good like that): fast high kick ups.  ugh.  I should have worn my  knee brace today.

Okay, someone asked, what is The 100.  It is a pilates staple.  When I was younger and my midsection still had some firmness to it and hadn't gone through quite so much trauma, I could tighten it up with just the 100 morning and night for a couple weeks.  I don't know if it's going to be as effective as quickly this time, but I figure it can't hurt.  So the basic position is this:

Depending on your level of core strength you would either do top (easy), middle (medium), bottom (hard). See her hands, flat palms facing the floor and hovering a few inches?  You just pump.  100 times.  Looks easy, right?  Go ahead, try it.


I'll wait.

Uh-huh.  Not bad, right?  So anyway, I'm adding that after every work out and hopefully if I get my act together and if a certain toddler lets me lay on the floor without accosting me, I'll do it other times throughout the day as well.

Tomorrow is a day of rest. 

What exercises do you love/hate/rely on?

The Strange Idea

I know there are a ton of fitness blogs out there. At least I'm sure there are, I honestly didn't actually look. I'm sure they're put up by people who know more about it than I do and who are probably in better shape than I am. But I wasn't interested in someone else telling me the secrets to their amazing body when they have likely never really been overweight to begin with. And I wasn't really looking for someone else to whip me into shape. What I wanted was a place to be accountable for my goals. I want to know think hope that people are out there keeping up with my progress or lack there of. And really that's all I need. Just the thought of someone else knowing that I have slacked off is often enough to keep me from letting things go for too long. I've discovered recently that I have a closet A-type personality and really don't like to cheat, especially if I'm making it public what I'm trying to do.

Now for all of that being about me, I also firmly believe that we do better, we succeed more, in community. If you're like me and just want a place to be kept accountable, to share when things get frustrating, and even to bitch and moan a little when it just sucks to be on this journey, I'd love to have you on board. Share your goals, exercises, recipes, triumphs, setbacks, and anything else you want to share. You can add your two cents in comments or email me with full posts to share with everyone. I would even love to take on team members at some point. I'm really hoping that we get some notice and can include awesome fitness give-aways down the road.

What do you say? Are you up for it?